By Cheryl Mattox Berry
Suppose New York Knicks point guard Jeremy Lin had bought into the stereotype that Asians are good at math but not basketball. What if Argentina’s President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner believed that women are too hormonal to run a country? Neither Lin nor Fernandez de Kirchner let someone’s warped opinion keep them from achieving their dream. They believed in themselves.
If you’ve ever been told that you can’t do something because of your race, ethnicity or gender, tell that person stereotypes don’t apply to you. Given an opportunity and know-how, you can do whatever you set your sights on. Nobody has the power to limit how far you can go or what you can do unless you give it to them. That’s because they don’t know the stuff you’re made of – your character, fortitude and temperament.
When my brother was a senior in high school, his guidance counselor recommended that he go to a vocational school and study a trade. I couldn’t imagine why she said such a thing because he had good grades.
I was a sophomore in college at the time and became incensed that someone with a passing knowledge of my brother could kill his dream. I surmised that this white guidance counselor came to her conclusion based solely on my brother’s tan skin. She apparently thought that blacks were better with their hands than heads and couldn’t handle rigorous college classes.
She knew nothing about our family’s strong emphasis on education or work ethic. I told him to ignore her and apply to as many colleges as he wanted. He earned a bachelor’s degree and has become a much sought-after cosmetic chemist who has worked at Maybelline, L’Oreal and Revlon. He has traveled the globe to attend high-level meetings and roll out new lines of makeup. He has also developed products used by women worldwide.
None of this would have been possible if he had taken the advice of that guidance counselor. I wonder how many students missed opportunities because they believed her and not in themselves. Whenever someone has told me I wouldn’t be good at something, proving that person wrong became my incentive for working hard to achieve my goal.
Deep down inside, you know your capabilities. You would be doing yourself a disservice by not pursuing your dreams simply because someone else thinks they’re beyond your reach. On more than one occasion, I’ve heard an elderly person say, “I wish I had….” Don’t be one of them. Surround yourself with people who are positive and can help you achieve your goals. If you don’t have a mentor, get one today. Your mentor will be part of your support network and pump you up when it feels like the world is against you. She will remind you to believe in yourself even when others don’t.