By Cheryl Mattox Berry
Would you open the front door to your house and invite strangers into your bedroom and ask their opinion on your hair, makeup, clothes and weight? That’s exactly what some middle school girls are doing on YouTube. They’re making videos, which show not only their faces but also shots of their body, and asking viewers, “Am I ugly or pretty?”
These girls are so insecure about their looks that they’re asking total strangers to weigh in. They’re making themselves the target of mean-spirited kids, adults and wackos looking for fun at someone else’s expense. Many viewers respond in rude, crude and offensive language that these young girls shouldn’t even see.
A personal question, such as how you look, should only be posed to people you know, love and trust, not someone you’ve never laid eyes on or spoken to in your life. Don’t be confused: People you know only by their username aren’t your friends. Most don’t give a second thought about how their remarks might affect you because they don’t know or care about you.
Your friends are those with whom you celebrate victories, shed tears, share secrets, get into trouble, giggle over silly stuff and spend time at their house. History, not a click of the mouse, makes you friends.
If you ask your BFF whether you’re pretty or ugly, she would never say negative things. She would point out what you have going for yourself, such as naturally long lashes, beautiful smile or gorgeous head of hair. She knows what areas you’re sensitive about, such as weight, and would tread lightly. If you ask whether you’re fat, she might say something like, “We’ve both been stuffing our faces too much. Why don’t we start working out tomorrow?” Friends encourage, not ridicule.
Sadly, there are nut cases trolling the Internet looking for an opportunity to get inside someone’s head and mess with them. Preying on other people is their sport. When you ask personal questions, they see that you’re vulnerable and take advantage of that. Don’t put a bull’s eye on your forehead and give them a chance to wound you or kill your spirit.
Warnings have been issued time and again about protecting your privacy, which includes your feelings, on the Internet, but girls don’t always heed that advice. When someone seems nice, down goes your guard. You have no clue who you’re chatting with on the Internet. As a child you’re warned not to talk to strangers, but Internet users do it all the time. This is so dangerous.
Bloggers have asked YouTube to shut down the “Am I ugly or pretty” videos because they’re psychologically damaging and have a negative effect on a girl’s self-esteem. The larger question, of course, is how to get girls to see that physical attributes don’t make a girl beautiful. In this beauty-obsessed culture, it’s hard to believe that you’re pretty if you don’t have a blonde weave hanging to your butt and wear false eyelashes, short skirts and stilettos. All that is so superficial. Being blessed with model good looks doesn’t make a girl pretty. Beauty also comes from within. A girl’s caring nature, sweet spirit, sunny disposition and intelligence make her beautiful.
How many times have you seen an odd-looking couple and wonder what he sees in her or vice versa? Obviously, it’s more than looks. It’s something that she/he has discovered that’s not visible to the naked eye. It’s called inner beauty. Too often we get hung up on looks and miss out on opportunities to find that special friend or boyfriend. Don’t be shallow. As Judge Judy so aptly put it, “Beauty fades, dumb is forever.”