“Every decision you make is not going to be the right one,” actor Terrence Howard, Red Tails.
By Cheryl Mattox Berry
Everyone makes mistakes, but how do you handle yours?
A. Shrug them off
B. Blame someone else
C. Wallow in self-pity
D. Learn from them.
The correct answer: D
Mistakes are not mistakes if you learn from them. View them as teachable moments that offer valuable lessons that you’ll remember for the rest of your life. Once a mistake has been brought to your attention, analyze what you did wrong. Did you weigh the pros and cons? Did you seek advice from a knowledgeable source? What did you learn from the experience? When the situation comes up again, how will you handle it?
None of us is perfect; so don’t expect to be right all the time. As you mature, your parents will hover less and trust that you will have good judgment when they’re not around. Along with your new freedom comes responsibility. When you make a mistake, own up to it. Blaming those around you is a sign of immaturity. Remaining in a funk for a long time doesn’t help the situation either. If you must, beat yourself up for a couple of minutes, and get over it. The mistake happened. You’ve dealt with the fallout. Learned your lesson. So, it’s time to move on.
One of my favorite T-shirts has “Think. Think. Think.” written across the front. I wore it a lot when my daughter was in middle school and high school because that’s what I wanted her to do at all times. As parents, we know that our kids will make mistakes, and they’ll be better off after going through the process of suffering the consequences. Of course, you’ll have to listen to us preach about being responsible, using your head and making good choices.
Good choices are not always apparent when everyone else is doing the opposite. That’s when you pull back from the crowd and assess the situation. Ask yourself whether the activity or behavior is right for you. If it’s not, excuse yourself. You don’t have to explain or chastise your friends. Simply say, it’s not for me. Later, in a one-on-one conversation, you can elaborate on why you bailed on your friends.
Another way to avoid making mistakes is by looking at the experiences of others. Learn from their mistakes. When you don’t learn from your mistakes, you’re bound to keep doing the same thing and getting the same results. Exhibit A, B and C: Lindsay Lohan, and rappers T.I. and DMX. Will they ever learn?
Ask your mother, aunt, sibling, older cousin or mentor for advice. Just about every situation you encounter, someone else has been there and can tell you how they coped. A lot of girls think they have all the answers or they rely on advice from their peers. Problem is, that could lead to bigger mistakes. Don’t be afraid to reach out to others. That’s a sign of maturity.