By Cheryl Mattox Berry
One of my daughter’s friends is called “The Mom” of the group. She serves as the designated driver, plays devil’s advocate, cautions them against doing stupid stuff and looks after everyone. She’s the backbone of the group. Every circle of friends needs a mom. Does yours have one?
As the holiday season kicks into gear, there will be parties galore. Temptation, too. Sometimes, groupthink (the other kids at the party, of course, not your BFFs) causes you to do things that you otherwise might not consider, such as drink alcohol or smoke marijuana. When you’re not in your right mind, it causes a host of other problems, like hooking up with someone for the night.
It’s good to have someone around who can give you a reality check. A friend knows your true nature and wouldn’t let you do something that could get you into trouble or that you might regret later. Someone in your group may already hold the title of The Mom. If not, select one. It might be fun to pick someone to be in charge each time the group goes out. Each person in the group can tell The Mom one thing she definitely doesn’t want to do at the party.
For example, you still have feelings for the ex-boyfriend who dumped you for another girl. After she broke his heart, he started calling you again. Your pride and BFFs won’t let you take him back. If he strikes up a conversation with you at the party and you appear to be under his spell again, you want The Mom to whisked you away immediately.
Code words work, too. The Mom can walk by and whisper a certain word or phrase to alert you to your behavior. Choose something silly that will make you laugh when you hear it.
The Mom wants to enjoy herself at the party, too, so be considerate. If she warns you once and you ignore her, she’s done her job. She’s merely there to remind you that you’re entering dangerous territory. In the end, you’re responsible for your behavior – good or bad.