By Cheryl Mattox Berry
My girlfriends and I have had two hard and fast rules since high school: We don’t date each other’s ex-boyfriends nor do we date the ex’s best friend.
Reason: It gets too complicated.
I thought these were universal rules etched in stone. However, I’ve learned that one of the rules – dating the ex’s best friend – isn’t observed in some corners of the USA.
A few days ago, reports said a girl may be at the center of a fight between a missing University of Florida freshman and his best friend, who is a person of interest in the case. The best friend used to date the girl, but they broke up. Then, she began dating the missing young man. All three have been friends since high school. The girl claims that the old boyfriend didn’t approve of her dating his friend at first but came to accept it.
Really? In this era of ego and machismo, I doubt a boy would tell you that he’s messed up because you’ve hooked up with his best friend. Girls tend to be more open about their feelings than boys. Whereas a girl would have a fit if the ex started talking to her BFF, a boy more often suffers in silence.
Regardless of what he says, don’t put yourself or a boy you once cared for in this awkward position. Even if he broke off the relationship, and you want to get even with him. Even if his best friend comes on to you, and you’ve secretly had a crush on him since forever. Use common sense. Show some restraint. Just don’t do it.
To date an ex’s best friend is insensitive, and to think that everyone will be okay with the arrangement is naïve on your part. Jealousy is bound to crop up because it’s human nature. In fact, you may be the other person green with envy when your ex’s new girlfriend joins the circle of friends.
Bottom line: There are plenty other guys out there to date. Find them. You need to put some space between you, the ex and his friends. What better way to do that than to look for other people to hang out with.