Your Classmate is Not Perfect

By Cheryl Mattox Berry

Have you ever looked at a classmate and wished you had her life? She has it all: popularity, great clothes, beautiful hair, long lashes, cute boyfriend, an SUV and fun-loving parents. Her life is perfect. And yours, well, so-so.

Don’t  be fooled by outward appearances. Nobody’s life is perfect. The girl you see at school could be experiencing a myriad of problems within or at home. She may have a dysfunctional family and suffer from self-esteem issues, eating disorders, health problems or a learning disability. Her parents may be getting a divorce, losing their home to foreclosure or facing unemployment.

While it’s normal to admire what another girl has and want the same for yourself, you must not get preoccupied with someone else’s life. Reason: You lose sight of your blessings. When you start feeling down about something you don’t have, focus on what is going right in your life. List the things you’re proud of, such as a skill, talent, good grades and supportive family members. You probably don’t realize how much you have going for yourself.

Now, what areas of your life need improvement? Here are three questions to start you thinking about what needs to be fixed:

Do you live a balanced life?  There should be time for family, work, study, recreation and exercise. If one or more is missing, you need to work them into your schedule.

Do you take time to meditate or pray?  Everyone needs time to reflect, refresh and regroup. Choose a time of day when you can sit alone and connect with yourself and a spiritual being. Consider joining a church or synagogue, where you’ll find youth groups engaged in fun and uplifting activities.

Are your relationships positive?  This applies to girlfriends and boyfriends. If either brings a lot of drama, you need to cut her/him lose. Hanging with friends is supposed to be fun time. They’re not supposed to make you anxious, upset or depressed. Your friends should also have similar values so that you can encourage each other to reach your goals.

Remind yourself often about the good things in your life. You’ll be less likely to dwell on what is missing. There’s plenty of time to obtain all the things on your wish list. Just keep working at it.

Photo by Benjamin Miller