By Cheryl Mattox Berry
News flash: There is no such thing as an online romantic relationship.
If you can’t see, touch, smell or hear your boyfriend, for all you know he doesn’t exist. Text messages, photos and posts on Facebook do not constitute a relationship. Just ask the high school girls and young ladies in Miami-Dade County who engaged in a so-called online relationship with what they thought was a handsome young man. Turns out, the poster was a 28-year-old woman. It was enough to make one of his/her girlfriends gag when she heard the news.
The woman set up a website and blog purporting to be two brothers, one stricken with cancer. She fed the fairytale and snared many unsuspecting supporters and girlfriends for three years. She found out where one girl lived and lurked outside her house one night, leaving evidence to prove that she had been there.
Last July, the tale unraveled when the mother of a teenage girl became suspicious and contacted law enforcement authorities. Investigators found no evidence that a crime had been committed by the woman, who took down the Facebook page and blog before officers saw them.
The Internet has made it easy for crazy people to take advantage of young, lonely and naïve users, especially girls. You simply must use common sense when communicating online. Some things cannot be replaced by technology, and dating is one of them. To have a relationship, you must interact with the object of your affection face-to-face, live, in person, up close and personal. Let’s review how a real relationship works:
- Meet boy at church, synagogue, party, school or through friends.
- Introduce him to parents.
- Go on dates.
- Visit each other’s homes (with an adult present.)
- Hang out with boyfriend and your friends.
Anything less than what I described above is not a relationship. If you’re just posting on Facebook and texting, you have a pen pal, not a boyfriend. Even then, you shouldn’t reveal personal information or engage in intimate subjects because you can’t be sure the person on the other end is who they claim to be.
Bottom line: You don’t have a romantic relationship if all you do is sit in front of a computer and send messages and photos.