By Paola, 16, junior
Independence is something our parents teach us from a very young age. They’ve always told us, “Don’t depend on someone to do your homework for you!” and “Don’t rely on someone to give you information, find out yourself!” However, in our teens, we sink back into dependency. Now, we rely on our friends for advice on everything from guys to clothing to what colors go best with our complexion.
Girls, in particular, let what others say determine how we feel about ourselves. For example, if someone says, “Ugh, I hate girls who braid their hair every day,” and another girl hears her, that girl will stop wearing her hair in a braid.
Also, we depend on others too much for social status. If we don’t receive the attention we want or hang out with certain people, we become disappointed in ourselves. We don’t think we’re good enough no matter how successful we might be other ways. At school, look around, listen to what people are talking about, how they’re dressed and how they act. Chances are, most of them are trying to impress someone. I know it doesn’t make sense, but that’s how society works nowadays.
Always relying on someone else’s opinion prevents you from becoming your own person. Making decisions and learning from your mistakes is part of growing up. There will always be people who don’t like how you dress, act or live your life. You can’t worry about them.
If you find yourself overly dependent on friends, it’s actually easy to do something about it. While shopping, don’t think in terms of what other people would say looks good on you. Instead, think of what you want to look like. While talking to a group of people, don’t bring up a topic that you know nothing about to seem cool. Just be yourself and talk about something that actually interests you.
Finally, when you think that someone is looking at you funny or judging you, look away and concentrate on what you’re doing. If you start worrying about being judged, you probably won’t do what you really want out of fear that people will dislike you for it. Well, who cares? Be who you want to be, not what another person wants you to be.