By Cheryl Mattox Berry
What would you do in the following situations?
Scenario 1: The most popular girl in school is throwing a big Sweet 16 party. Everyone is looking forward to going. You received an invitation, but your BFF didn’t get one.
Your friend’s feelings will be hurt, so don’t go on and on about the party. If others in your circle got an invite, tell them not to discuss the party in her presence. That would be rude and insensitive. If she asks what you’re wearing or how you’re styling your hair, keep answers short. Don’t share details about the party with her the next day. Instead, call your friend and suggest the two of you do something. That should make her feel better.
Scenario 2: One of the girls in your circle has body odor. Everyone notices it, but no one says anything to her.
Do her a favor and tell her so that she can fix the problem. It could be that she showers, but her deodorant isn’t strong enough or she’s not washing her clothes after each wear. Not everyone can smell herself, which explains why some girls douse themselves with enough body spray to knock out an elephant. She might be a little embarrassed, but she should appreciate the fact that you care enough to speak up.
Scenario 3: Mom constantly criticizes your clothes, hair and makeup.
Just about every girl who is fashion forward has had a run-in with her mother about one or all of the above. Your mother is probably no exception. Ask about her teen years and what styles drove her mother crazy. Hopefully, she’ll recall what it was like experimenting as a teen and leave you alone. If not, get her to tell you what specifically bothers her. Then, compromise by agreeing not to wear whatever it is when the family goes out to dinner or church.
Scenario 4: Your BFF’s boyfriend is dating another girl.
This is really touchy. Before you bust him, ask yourself whether she would want to know. In high school, my boyfriend started dating a girl at another school. A couple of my friends knew but didn’t say a word. I was really angry with them when I found out they knew about it. However, some girls can’t handle the truth. She may lash out at you upon hearing such heart-breaking news.
Scenario 5: A childhood friend has taken up with a tough crowd. Your mothers are best friends, and they’re always planning mother-daughter activities. You don’t want to attend them anymore because you and the girl no longer hang out.
Explain to your mother that the two of you have simply grown apart and have nothing in common. No need to say negative things about the girl. Friends fall by the wayside as you move from elementary school to middle school to high school. Tell mom that her friendship with the mother should continue as long as they enjoy each other’s company.