By Cheryl Mattox Berry
No. Say it. Again. That two-letter word is hard for some people to say regardless of how they feel. It could be that they don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings or that a no response would make them look like a bad person.
Sometimes, it’s okay to say no. Others must learn to respect your time. If you have plans and a friend comes to you at the last minute with a request, politely tell her that you won’t be able to do it. You can explain why if you want, but an explanation isn’t necessary. Don’t worry about losing her friendship. When you tell her no, she’ll just ask someone else.
When friends see that you’re always there to help, they’ll keep asking for favors. They seldom give any thought to infringing on your private time because you’ve given them the impression that you don’t have a life. If you’re beginning to feel like a doormat, it’s time to stand up for yourself.
The first thing you have to get over is worrying about what other people will think about you if you turn them down. You’re not obligated to come to everyone’s aid. Of course, you’ll lend assistance in an emergency, but more often than not the person who needs your help hasn’t managed her time well. No matter how much she begs or offers to do in return, just say no. Here are a few phrases to tell your friend:
- I’m sorry that doesn’t work for me.
- I won’t be able to fit that into my plans.
- Perhaps there is someone else you can call.
- I wish there was something I could do, but I’m tied up right now.
Even if you don’t have anything planned, sometimes you don’t feel like being bothered with someone else’s issues. There’s nothing wrong with that. Every girl needs down time spent however she pleases.