Attention Shy Girls: It’s Time to Step Out of the Shadows

By Cheryl Mattox Berry

Contrary to popular belief, boys don’t always want to date the popular girls because there’s just too much competition for them. Some boys prefer girls who are a little shy and not in the spotlight all the time. If you want their attention, you’ve got to get noticed. That means moving out of your comfort zone and going after what you want. Are you ready for Flirting 101?

Rule #1: Stand up straight. Shoulders back. Walk tall. This shows confidence. Pretend you’re a model strutting the runway. Just don’t overdo it.

Rule #2: Hold your head up and look right into the eyes of the guy you’re interested in when you cross his path. Shy girls usually walk around with their eyes glued to the ground. Not you, not anymore.

Rule #3: Smile when you see him. When you smile, your eyes perk up, and your facial muscles relax. You look friendly and approachable.

Rule #4: Say “hello” loud enough to be heard. Now is not the time to mumble. Speaking to him puts you on his radar. If the speaking part gives you pause, practice smiling and saying hello in front of the mirror. Practice improves confidence.

Next, comes an actual conversation with him. Having a mutual friend introduce you during a group outing makes things a lot easier. Think of a way to make that happen.

Another option is to ease close to him and strike up a conversation. Take a girlfriend with you for moral support if needed, but tell her to excuse herself after a few minutes. She is not to talk under any circumstances. You don’t want him confused about who is initiating this friendship.

Plan questions in advance. If he goes to your school, you might ask what activities he participates in. If he’s a senior, inquire about colleges he’s applying to. Then, you can ask what he has been doing this summer and whether he’s seen the latest movies.

Don’t be the one asking all the questions, though. You don’t want to sound like a detective, interrogating him. Give him a chance to ask a few questions. If he answers your questions politely but doesn’t show any interest in finding out more about you, then he’s probably not into you. It happens. Move on. At least you’ve gotten some experience in how to break the ice with a guy. Hopefully, you’ll have better luck next time.