By Cheryl Mattox Berry
The controversy involving allegations that Miami Dolphins’ offensive lineman Richie Incognito sent racist texts and bullied fellow player Jonathan Martin is cause to look at what goes on in your band, clubs and sports teams.
Pranks are part of the culture for these groups in many middle and high schools, and newbies expect them. It’s harmless when someone is punked a couple of times, and everyone has a good laugh and moves on.
It becomes much more – hazing and bullying – when the behavior continues day in and day out, and the target of the verbal, written or physical abuse feels threatened. If you see that the object of your mischief is afraid, uncomfortable or upset, it’s time to stop. You’ve crossed the line.
Some people might not be able to mentally or physically tolerate what you want them to do or they find it offensive. Respect their wishes and don’t try forcing them to do something against their will for your amusement. It ceases to be funny when the victim of the prank isn’t laughing.
If you wind up at the end of a practical joke and don’t like it, speak up and walk away when it happens the first time. Tell someone in a position of authority if you feel harassed for refusing to go along with the jokesters.
Don’t take it as a sign of weakness when someone doesn’t want to participate in mischievous acts. In fact, it takes a lot of courage to buck tradition. Perhaps, it’s time to stop doing that old stuff and start a new, more meaningful tradition for new members.
However, if you insist on welcoming new members with silliness, recognize when enough is enough before you get into trouble. Not only could you get suspended from school for hazing and bullying, but you could face criminal charges. That wouldn’t be funny.