By Cheryl Mattox Berry
During a conversation with one of my childhood friends, we got on the subject of relatives and how some of them can inflict the worst emotional pain.
She mentioned that her late uncle used to hurt her feelings every time she saw him because he called her “Black Jack,” a play on her name and reference to her skin tone. I gasped. A grown man calling a child black was beyond insensitive. I might add that this happened long before the phrase “Black is Beautiful” became popular.
I asked why she never told him she didn’t like the name. She reminded me that back then children didn’t confront adults. I’m glad she didn’t tell me when we were kids because my big mouth would have said something to him and gotten us trouble.
While most monikers are funny or cute, sometimes they can be cruel or a form of ridicule, like in my friend’s case. A nickname – good or bad – can stick with you throughout your life, causing some people to forget your real name.
My mother got tired of family members calling my sister “Turkey,” and told them to call her by her given name when she was in elementary school. About 10 years ago, my brother informed us that his pet name, “Bubba,” had played out.
Many family members consider these familiar names terms of endearment. I’m smiling as I write this, thinking about the nickname my late aunt used to call me. It shall not be revealed in this space, but I will say that her husband nicknamed me “Legs” because I was tall for my age as a child.
I thought the name was funny and didn’t mind. However, if you have a nickname that you hate, speak up. Tell family members and friends why you don’t like it. Explain how it makes you feel. Chances are they aren’t intentionally trying to hurt your feelings. They simply thought your looks or behavior warranted a nickname.
By the same token, stop calling other people nicknames. I’m sure they would appreciate hearing the name printed on their birth certificate. Besides, many of us outgrow a nickname, like I did when my age finally caught up with my height.