By Cheryl Mattox Berry
As shoppers hit the malls looking for the perfect Mother’s Day present, I’m reminded of all the gifts handed down to me from my mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I’m blessed to have had these fierce, hardworking and loving women in my life. These are the things I learned from them:
Josephine – My mom, age 81, who lives in Memphis.
1. Determination. She encouraged me to set goals. When I faltered, she was there to keep me going. Mom let me make decisions about certain things and suffer the consequences for poor choices.
2. Toughness. Growing up in rural Mississippi, she was often called “white girl” because of her fair skin and long curly hair. She developed a thick skin and passed it along to me.
3. Devotion to Family. She always made sure that her mother, Lucile, was taken care of and nursed her at home when her mind and body were ravaged my lung cancer.
4. Independence. She taught me to be a free-thinker and not go along with the crowd.
5. Financial Responsibility. When I got my first check from a summer job, she suggested that I open a savings account, spend a little on myself and give my sister and brothers a couple of dollars. She gave me access to two of her charge accounts when I was in high school so that I could learn how to use them responsibly.
Lucile – My grandmother, who passed away in 1991 at age 81.
1. Civic engagement. The City Councilman for my grandmother’s district counted on her to get out the vote. She knocked on doors and reminded residents of poll hours. She also called our house and said, “Girl, it’s voting day. What time are you going?”
2. Unconditional Love. No matter what her grandchildren and other relatives did, she always forgave them and welcomed them back with a hug.
3. Being a Sociable Person. My grandmother loved going places and meeting people. When we went somewhere and I didn’t know anyone, she made me introduce myself. She never missed a church conference, school event, graduation or celebration. When I came home on break from college, she made me visit all the neighbors.
4. Support and Encouragement. Every weekday morning, Granny stood in her front yard and greeted kids on their way to school. She complimented them on how nice they looked and told them to be good. She was down for every crazy idea we had. When I told her I wanted to be a reporter, she told me the timing was right for blacks to enter that field.
5. Prayer. If I had a problem, I took it to Granny. She prayed away sore throats, final exam jitters and mean bosses.
Lela – My great-grandmother, who died in 1972 in her late 70s.
1. Integrity. Dear, as we called her, never let anyone take advantage of her. She stood up to a white landowner who wanted to charge her more rent for land she farmed than they had agreed on. That was unheard of during the days of segregation in the Deep South.
2. Resourcefulness. When food was running low, she was able to make a meal out of what was in the pantry and frig. She also grew herbs in her yard and made hot tea out of them when I was sick.
3. Curiosity. Dear wasn’t afraid to explore new things. One night, she went to a tent meeting run by the Seventh Day Adventist Church. She ended up joining the church and was the only family member who wasn’t a Methodist.
4. Helping Others. Her house was a way station for relatives from Mississippi headed to Memphis or farther North seeking a better life. Often, there were so many people in that small house that they doubled up in beds or slept on pallets.
5. Respect. When one of her granddaughters talked back, Dear put the child in a croker sack and hung her from a tree. Her mother was afraid to cut her down until Dear gave her consent a short time later. That story made us fear Dear.
I salute these three women for making me the woman I am today. I’ll pass what they taught me to my children, nieces, nephews and hopefully grandkids one day. Happy Mother’s Day to all moms and those who’ve had to step in as mothers!