By Cheryl Mattox Berry
Whenever I’m in the company of younger women, I always ask whether they’re in a relationship. Surprisingly, most 20-somethings say they’re not dating because it’s too complicated.
The reason: Social media.
Excuse me, but doesn’t social media make it easy to approach someone and strike up a text exchange that leads to him asking you out? There’s no face-to-face contact, just a few simple words, emoticons or acronyms.
As it turns out, living in a Snapchat-Tweet-Instagram-Google-Facebook-GroupMe world has turned many millennial women into spies. They spend most of their day following their boyfriends on social media to make sure they’re not in the wrong place with the wrong person.
A young woman I recently had lunch with said keeping track of her ex-boyfriend was all-consuming. She would rather be by herself and spend time focusing on her career. When I asked why she didn’t trust her boyfriend, she replied that it wasn’t just him that needed checking but rather other young ladies around him.
I immediately thought about my 25-year-old daughter, Jazz, and whether she had become one of those man-tracking women. When I asked if she played bloodhound with her ex-boyfriend, she said no because neither one of them was on social media. Plus, Jazz said she wouldn’t date someone she couldn’t trust 100 percent.
Whew!
While I’m glad Jazz doesn’t do that, I feel sorry for young women who have fallen into this habit. How in the world did it come to this? The bottom line: If you’ve got to follow your man 24/7, then he’s not for you.
Move on, but don’t give up dating. As Jane Seymour says in the TV commercial for her jewelry collection, “Keep your heart open and love will always find its way in.”
(Godmothers, mentors and counselors repeat this message often to our young women.)
When you find that special someone, make sure the two of you are on the same page, i.e., dating each other exclusively. Then, wean yourself from social media and don’t listen to your know-it-all girlfriends when they report back to you what they saw posted on a site.
You’re supposed to be happy in a relationship, not constantly worried about your boyfriend cheating on you. Tracking your boyfriend on social media doesn’t make your relationship better; it destroys it and turns you into a shrew. You’re better than that!