By Cheryl Mattox BerrySo, I was familiar with bullying and its impact on victims and families. However, nothing prepared me for the video of a boy being punched and jabbed on a school bus while kids cheered on the big bully. The video was shown during a special report, “Bullying: It Stops Here,” by CNN’s Anderson Cooper. Hearing another kid on the bus encouraging the bully to “give it to him hard” was heartbreaking. While he was being hit, the boy kept asking his attacker a simple question: Why? He never got an answer, just more licks.
So many questions raced through my mind as I watched the video. Why didn’t the bus driver do something? If the boys were out of his line of sight, why didn’t somebody on the bus tell him what was going on? Why didn’t some of the kids stand up for the victim? Did it occur to any of them that they might be next?
A study by two University of California, Davis, sociologists found that the incidence of bullying decreased when students stepped in to stop aggressive acts. Simply put, bullies stand down when bystanders stand up to them. If you’re tired of seeing students being treated cruelly, do something about it. Take on the role of intervener. If you see another student being picked on, call out the bully – loud and clear. Let everyone around you know what is going on and how the behavior is wrong and unacceptable. Report what you saw to a teacher, security guard or principal.
You don’t have to act alone. Get your circle of friends to help you eliminate bullying by speaking out when they see fellow students being hit, pushed, kicked, threatened and verbally abused. That goes for cyberbulling, too. Researchers say the key to breaking the bullying cycle is to widen the circle of interveners. Students, more so than teachers, are likely to witness other students been attacked. If you say nothing, the bully thinks your silence means you’re okay with his behavior. Laughing at another student’s pain makes you a sideline bully.
When I was growing up, we were taught the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Parents, teachers and preachers made us recite it over and over. The quote was even on classroom walls. The result: it made me think about how my actions would affect the other person. Put yourself in the shoes of bullying victims. Wouldn’t you want someone to come to your rescue? Wouldn’t you want to know that other students feel you are a worthy human being?
There is another benefit of becoming an intervener. It makes you feel good and look good. Helping others raises your self-esteem. Tackling a problem in your school makes you a leader. Everyone likes being around someone who is positive and doing good things. You are that person. So, the next time you see a big bully at work remember:
Fact: Bullying hurts.
Fact: Bullying causes low self-esteem.
Fact: Bullying kills.
Undisputed Fact: You can do something about bullying.
Get to Work!