By Cheryl Mattox Berry
Try if you will, but there are some things you just can’t rush, like adulthood. I see teen girls all the time dressed like grown women, talking like grown women and acting like grown women. Underneath all the makeup, hair extensions and spandex, they’re still teenagers. They’re just trying to jumpstart being grown for some reason.
In the movie, Girl in Progress, the main character, Ansiedad, decides to fast-forward her teen years so that she can leave her uncaring mother, hop a bus and start her life as an adult. She makes a checklist of things she needs to experience in preparation for this new life and enlists the help of her best friend to quickly move through the list.
Among the things she must do in rapid succession are: Become friends with the popular girl, steal money for a makeover, get bad grades, dump her best friend, kiss a boy and lose her virginity. Of course, her plans unravel, and Ansiedad finds out that you can’t script these rite-of-passage activities. They happen when the time is right.
There’s a reason you must experience things at certain ages. The lessons you learn in each phase prepare you for the next. Picture building a house. The foundation is laid first, followed by the walls and finally the roof. You can’t put the walls up without the foundation, and you can’t put the roof on without the walls. In other words, you can’t skip over adolescence and jump right into being grown because you’re not ready to handle the responsibilities or the consequences of bad decisions. Ask any teen mom, and she’ll agree.
I cringe when I see celebrities letting their little girls wear heels, carry designer purses and dress in clothes meant for teenagers or grownups. It’s not cute. What’s next, letting them move in with their boyfriend at age 13? These girls don’t have anything to look forward to if they do it all by age 6. Parents should impose age guidelines for when their daughters can wear heels, makeup and date boys.
It’s natural to long for things you see older girls with, such as tight-fitting clothes and stilettos. But what’s the rush? Those things or something else equally as fashionable will be there when you reach the appropriate age to wear them. Give your body and mind a chance to mature before you adopt a certain look and behavior.
Truth is, you may not be ready for the attention that looking womanly can bring. It will definitely attract older guys, which on the face of it is flattering. However, these older guys will expect certain things. Are you willing to give them what they want?
Growing up isn’t just about getting older; it’s about getting wiser. That comes with time. Give yourself some. Meanwhile, enjoy where you are in life.