By Cheryl Mattox Berry
Reality TV characters Evelyn Lozada and Chad Johnson unwittingly taught fans what happens for real when one person hits/head-butts another person. One gets hurt (Lozada); the other goes to jail (Johnson.)
You would never know that watching reality TV shows. There are seldom any consequences for unprovoked punches, jabs and slaps. The cameras keep rolling like nothing happened. Cast members justify their behavior as “keeping it real.” Lozada, in particular, has been at the center of bullying and violent exchanges on Basketball Wives. When two cast members filed lawsuits after they were whacked, Lozada criticized them, saying they should know things happen during filming.
In real life, fighting is not the solution to a disagreement. It creates a whole new set of problems: pain, humiliation, self-doubt, fear, loss of reputation and low self-esteem – for the victim and attacker.
It used to be that boys were more likely to fight in school. However, fighting among girls is just as prevalent. Many of the incidents involve girls fighting over boys or girls saying bad things about other girls. Neither is a good excuse for rolling on the ground, showing your panties, getting your hair pulled out, lip busted and clothes dirty.
Never ever fight over a boy. If he wants to be with another girl, let him. Fighting about him isn’t going to make him love you more. He’ll probably laugh at you and the other girl for fighting over him. Move on to someone else.
So what if someone says something about you. Ignore her. Words can’t hurt you. Your friends know the truth. Gossip dies down after a few days. Ride it out. Hold your head high, and keep on stepping.
Fighting will get you kicked out of school and a permanent mark on your record. That doesn’t look good if you’re in middle school and trying to get into a special high school. Optional schools have strict guidelines and zero tolerance for violence. Worse yet, you could be arrested for putting your hands on another person.
Before you throw the first lick, think about what you have at stake. Then, walk away. Tell a teacher or guidance counselor if another student threatens you or gets aggressive (shoving and elbowing.) Don’t wait until her behavior escalates to full-scale violence. Many schools have student mediators who settle arguments or they offer classes on dispute resolution. If your school doesn’t, find out how to get them.
Lesson summary: Defend yourself if someone attacks you, but don’t start a fight because you could end up in jail.