By Cheryl Mattox Berry
Living with mom can be difficult, especially during the teen years. That’s when you’re developing into a young lady, full of ideas about what you want to do, when you want to do it and how you want to do it. Your wants often clash with what your mother wants for you. Arguing over “rights” is what mothers and daughters do.
Trust me, mother knows best. You may think she’s mean and old-fashioned, but she has your best interest at heart. Her role is to guide and protect you through the volatile teen years. Strange as it may seem, she has experienced just about everything you’re going through, including fighting with her mother.
Rely on her wisdom to see you through middle school and high school. While you’re trying to establish your identity and independence, she’s trying to raise a daughter who is smart, loving, God-fearing, respectful and proud. She’s not trying to keep you from having fun or ruin your life. Mom wants you to learn how to make good choices so that you will have a good life.
Here are some scenarios that will push mom’s hot button and why:
Friends – Mom doesn’t like one of your BFFs because she is opinionated and bosses you around. She thinks the girl is a bad influence and doesn’t want you to associate with her.
Mom’s rationale – An overbearing friend makes your mother think that you’re allowing her to make decisions for you. She worries that the girl might talk you into doing something you’ll regret. Moms want their daughters to be independent thinkers; leaders, not followers. If she has misread your friend, invite the girl over so that your mother can get to know her.
Boys – Your friends date boys in middle school, but mom won’t let you go out with a boy – alone – until you’re 16.
Mom’s rationale – She doesn’t want you rushing into a relationship before you’re mature enough to handle it. In middle school, you’re still developing emotionally, socially and physiologically. When you throw boys in the mix at that delicate stage, it could damage your self-esteem. She wants you to be confident in your own skin before becoming romantically involved. Be prepared for her to scrutinize your boyfriends – forever. Moms don’t want their daughters wasting time with aimless young men. Period.
School – You have been looking forward to going to the most popular high school with all your friends, but mom has informed you that you’re going to a school that has a more rigorous academic program. You’re upset.
Mom’s rationale – She’s thinking about your future and the cost of college. Your mother wants you to focus on getting good grades, not socializing. She knows it’s tough to get into college, and she wants you to be able to compete with other students. With a good GPA, you could also earn scholarships.
When you’re older, you’ll realize that mom had it right all along. You’ll thank her for instilling values and morals, and keeping you on track despite your pleas and outbursts. Until then, listen to her. Mother knows best!