Your Affection Isn’t For Sale

By Cheryl Mattox Berry

Still admiring the Valentine’s Day swag from your boo? You couldn’t believe all the stuff he bought – everything you’ve talked about for the last month. Well, believe this: There’s a price to be paid for all these goodies.

It may be your body, mind, time or all of the above. As you’ve heard again and again, “Ain’t nothing free in this world.”

A boy who showers a girl with gifts is probably trying to buy her affection. He may be insecure about his ability to attract or keep a girlfriend, so he offers material things to win her heart. This is especially true of older guys who know younger girls are naïve and impressionable.

When you start accepting money, clothes, jewelry and other expensive items, it becomes hard to turn down a boy when he wants something because he’s been so nice. Your BFFs tell you all the time how lucky you are to be with him, which makes you feel obligated to do whatever to keep up the relationship.

Stop right there. Feeling beholden to a boy gives him too much control over you. He’s not your mom or dad, and you don’t owe him anything. He’s not entitled to sex nor should you let him dictate your life.

That kind of control often leads to obsession. An obsessive boyfriend is a dangerous one because he feels he owns you and will do anything in his power to keep you. Attempts to break up with him could result in verbal, emotional or physical abuse. Even death.

Don’t put yourself in that position. Give and accept only small gifts. If a boy tries to pressure you into doing something because he gave you a gift, return it and stop seeing him.

If you don’t like someone interested in you, don’t accept anything from him. Taking a gift would be leading him on. When he finally realizes that he’s being played, he’ll hate you for taking advantage of him.

Establish your independence. Nobody owns you. Your affection isn’t for sale.