By Cheryl Mattox Berry
Girls attending Camp Honey Shine in Miami got more than the usual regimen of activities. In addition to swimming, arts and crafts, reading and a variety of workshops, the girls got frequent doses of real talk from Tracy Wilson Mourning, founder of the mentoring program.
Mourning, a graduate of Howard University and wife of former Miami Heat player Alonzo Mourning, doesn’t mince words during Girl Talk sessions, which are held by grade level. For girls in ninth grade, the subject Tuesday was attitude. Mourning told the girls that their attitude is a choice. “Attitude – how you handle things- determines how far you go,” she said.
She challenged the campers, called Honey Bugs, to think about what they want to do and where they want to go in life. The journey starts by verbalizing what you want, she said. Mourning explained that she was determined to attend college and had selected one but didn’t know how she would pay for it. Her mother cleaned houses for a living and didn’t have the money. “It’s all about timing, blessing and the power of your words,” said Mourning, who received a scholarship with the help of entertainer Bill Cosby.
When the conversation veered to boys, the girls asked how do you know if a boy cares about you. One girl said by the way he talks to you. Another said by the way he treats you. A third girl said by the things he buys for you. Mourning acknowledged that it’s difficult to tell sometimes. Get to know a boy before giving your heart to him and always “listen to your gut,” she advised.
The girls concluded that taking expensive presents, such as designer purses and clothes, from boys is not a good idea. One girl said she received a promise ring from her boyfriend, and he asked for sex in exchange. Appropriate gifts: stuffed animals, CDs, flowers and candy. The best gifts: honesty, trust and commitment.
During Girl Talk for sixth graders, Mourning was hit with stories about girls outside the camp fighting over boys and acting like women on reality TV. She reminded the girls that the things they see on reality shows, such as Basketball Wives and Mean Girls, are staged for the cameras. She and her girlfriends might disagree, but they don’t slap and punch each other. She warned the girls that there are serious legal consequences for hitting another person.
Know how to protect yourself, she said, but don’t fight over a boy or initiate physical contact with anyone. Learn how to use your voice to resolve conflict, and walk away when things get heated.
Mourning told the girls in both groups that they have a lot of living and learning to do, and mistakes will be made in the process. “Once you do something or start something (and it doesn’t feel right,) you can always stop,” she said.
About 120 girls, ages 8 to 18, attended the six-week Honey Shine day camp, which ends its fifth year on July 27. Founded in 2002, Honey Shine is a year-round mentoring program for girls from economically and socially challenged communities. They attend bi-monthly meetings, workshops and fieldtrips. The Honey Shine Motto: “Inspiring Young Girls to Shine as Women.”