By Cheryl Mattox Berry
What to do about the high school boyfriend is a dilemna for many girls headed off to college. Do you continue being boyfriend and girlfriend or break up? Let’s examine the pros and cons of each one.
If you decide to remain a couple, you won’t feel pressured to find a boyfriend soon as you set foot on campus or feel bad about yourself if most of your friends are dating someone by the end of the first semester.
However, keep in mind that a long distance relationship requires a lot of work. Before you leave, discuss with your boyfriend how you’re going to make it work, i.e., visits, Skype, Facetime, texts, etc. Be aware of each other’s schedules, so that he doesn’t call you when you’re studying and vice versa.
Problems often arise if the boyfriend doesn’t go to college. He’s clueless about college life and might get jealous of your new friends – male and female. Don’t be surprised if he gives you the third-degree about your comings and goings. That can create a lot of stress in a relationship and make you resent him.
The down side of staying together is that you deny yourself an opportunity to meet other young men who might be more fun and interesting than the high school boyfriend. College is all about meeting new people from other cultures, countries and regions of the USA.
You and the boyfriend should make a pact to tell each other when you no longer want to date exclusively. You don’t want to string him along nor do you want to be strung along.
If you decide to go separate ways, it could be a win-win for both of you. You’re free to date other young men and can remain friends with the boyfriend, no strings attached. Both of you will look forward to seeing each other on breaks or not.
Don’t rush to break up now, though. Enjoy your summer vacation. As it gets closer to the time for you to leave, bring up the subject and explain why breaking up is a good thing for both of you.
Keep the lines of communication open. You will enter college as a freshman with no complications, free to date whoever catches your eye. As the saying goes, “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If it does not come back, it was never meant to be.”